rootless branches

 

That sheer feeling of despair that comes from the feeling of rootlessness. You know you don’t have roots, so you try your best, you keep trying your best, and in doing so you frantically try to branch out to as many places as possible. But at the end of the day, you know that you have no roots, so it does not matter how many times and much you branch out. It might all come off at the end of the day if just one storm comes. So, you are always careful, too cautious about not getting every part of you ripped out. You panic even at a minor inconvenience. What if this time not having roots cost you all the branches that you worked on so hard? And when these thoughts encroach your mind entirely, you either try to branch out more and more until you literally cannot carry the weight of them anymore or you go deep into the ground, searching for your roots or maybe just sit there with the despair of realization that no matter how much you search for them, they are just not there. That light feeling or the feeling of weightlessness from being rootless… you try to cover it up with the cumbersome branches. But when nothing works out at all, you curl yourself up under the ground and in an effort to not see anyone or to be seen by anyone, you let everything go

...

until you remember your branches are waiting for you. So, you pick yourself up and give life to your branches one more time, again! You let them grow. You decide you’ll wait until the storm finally comes and takes everything away or until you see some sign of life breathing under the ground. 

Till then, you keep branching out, keep growing, and keep giving life. Until when? 

You don't know...

You don't know...

You don't know...